They are laughing at him. They call him the security guard who needs a report writing lesson. An incident occurred at the east wing of the building last night and Mike the security guard took the report. His superintendent came in this morning.
His greatest concern was not that someone stole all the barrels for delivery today. It was the way Mike wrote his report. His boss passed it around to everyone in the company and even the janitor got a good laugh.
Poor Mike, he does not even know what is happening. He thinks that they are laughing at his comical description of the bandits. He calls them, “An ugly squad looking like they bought their costumes at a discount store.” Mike believes his report is clear enough for the police officers to capture the perpetrators.
The actual report
“My name is Mike, the security guard who you gave the job to last week. I know you said that I shouldn’t leave my post, but I was very thirsty so I went upstairs inside the building to get something to drink. The elevator wasn’t working so I climbed plenty plenty plenty stairs. I really went for water but then I saw some sodas in the fridge. You will notice two sodas are missing because I am guarding this place and I will be thirsty. Anyway, when I came back down, I heard voices by the east wing of the building. I peeped through a crease in the wall and saw a bunch of men rolling some barrels outside of the compound. Before I went upstairs, I locked the big gate so I don’t know how they got it opened. They were an ugly squad looking like they bought their costumes at a discount store. Thank goodness they did not see me. Sir, it’s a good thing that I left my post. Imagine what they would have done to me. I am safe. – Mike”
How Mike got the job
You may read Mike’s report and wonder how did he even get the job of a security guard. When applying for the position, Mike submitted a perfect letter and resume. He was called in for the job and given simple questions to answer in simple English. As you can see, Mike’s usage of spelling, grammar, and punctuation is satisfactory. But, he does not understand the format of a report.
Mike got a report writing lesson
Mike was sent home. His manager told him to consider improving his ability to communicate in writing. He immediately signed up for an English course at an institute for adult learning.
He was advised to start reading the daily newspaper. He learned the difference between a news report and an opinion feature. He learned to research topics at a library and on the internet. The more knowledge he gathered the more he wanted. Mike got more than a report writing lesson, he went on to get a master’s degree in education and started his own adult literacy centre.