How to boost your child’s self-esteem when they want to give up

Does your child seem sad or hide their face when people say well done? Do they give up on their homework before they even start because they think they are not clever enough? Many parents today are worried because their children feel bad about themselves. This is called low self-esteem. In a world full of perfect pictures on the internet and hard tests at school, many kids feel like they are just not good enough. They stop trying new things because they are afraid of making a mistake. This makes them feel lonely and upset. If your child is struggling, you might feel like you have failed as a parent, but that is not true. It is a very common problem in 2026. This article will show you how to change that and help your child feel like a hero in their own life.

12 Ways to boost your child’s self-esteem

1. Give them a special job to do at home

Giving your child a small task makes them feel important and useful. When a child helps to set the table or feed the family pet, they see that they are a needed part of the team. This builds a sense of belonging which is the first step to feeling good. You should choose a job that fits their age so they can finish it easily without getting frustrated.

When they finish the job, they feel a sense of pride. They can look at the clean floor or the happy dog and know that they did that. This teaches them that their actions have a good result. It is much better than just giving them everything for free. Work makes them feel like they have value in the house.

2. Focus on the effort and not just the win

Many parents only cheer when their child gets a high grade or wins a race. This can make a child think you only love them when they are the best. Instead, you should praise how hard they tried. If they spent a long time practicing their guitar or studying for a spelling test, tell them that you are proud of their hard work.

By doing this, you teach them that trying is what matters most. They will not be so afraid of losing or failing because they know you value their sweat and focus. This creates a growth mindset. They will learn that they can get better at anything if they just keep putting in the effort.

3. Let them make their own small choices

When you let your child pick what they wear or which fruit they want for lunch, you give them power. Children who never get to choose feel like they have no control over their lives. This can make them feel small and weak. Giving them choices shows that you trust their brain and their taste.

Start with two simple things so they do not feel overwhelmed. You could ask if they want to go to the park or the library. This helps them learn how to make decisions. As they get older, they will feel more confident in making bigger choices because they have practised since they were little.

4. Stop using labels that stick like glue

It is very easy to call a child the messy one or the shy one. Even if you think it is just a joke, these words can hurt. The child starts to believe that they are only that one thing. If you call them clumsy, they might stop trying sports because they think they will always fall over.

Try to talk about the action instead of the person. Instead of saying they are a naughty boy, you can say that throwing the toy was a bad choice. This shows them that they are a good person who sometimes does a wrong thing. It gives them the chance to change their behaviour without feeling like a bad human being.

5. Spend ten minutes of real time together

Children need to know they are worth your time. In our busy world, we are often looking at our phones or thinking about work. If you give your child just ten minutes of your full attention every day, it changes everything. Put your phone in another room and sit on the floor with them.

During this time, let them lead the play. If they want to build a tower or draw a picture, just follow their lead. This shows them that their ideas are interesting to you. When a child feels interesting to their parents, they start to believe they are interesting to the whole world.

6. Encourage them to try new hobbies

Trying something new can be very scary for a child with low self-esteem. They might be worried that they will look silly. You should encourage them to join a club or start a new craft. When they learn a new skill, like swimming or painting, they get a boost of confidence.

The goal is not to be the best in the class. The goal is to show them that they can learn things they did not know before. Every time they master a small part of a hobby, their self-esteem grows a little bit more. It proves to them that they are capable of growth and learning.

7. Model positive self-talk in front of them

Children listen to how you talk about yourself. If you look in the mirror and say that you look old or if you get angry at yourself for making a mistake, they will copy you. They learn how to treat themselves by watching how you treat yourself. You must be kind to yourself if you want them to be kind to themselves.

Try to say things out loud like I made a mistake but I can fix it. Or you could say I am proud of myself for finishing this difficult work today. When they hear you being your own best friend, they will start to talk to themselves in the same lovely way. This stops the mean voice inside their heads.

8. Create a wall of fame for their work

Displaying your child’s drawings or school work on the fridge is a great way to show pride. When you put their work on a wall, you are saying that it is beautiful and important. It does not have to be a perfect painting. Even a simple doodle can go up if they worked hard on it.

Seeing their work displayed for guests to see makes them feel like a star. It reminds them of what they have achieved every time they walk past it. This physical sign of your love and pride acts as a constant hug for their self-esteem. It builds a home environment that celebrates their unique talents.

9. Help them solve their own problems

It is tempting to jump in and fix everything when your child is struggling. However, if you always fix their problems, they will think they are too weak to do it themselves. Instead of doing it for them, ask them questions. Ask what they think they should do next to solve the puzzle.

By guiding them rather than doing the work, you give them the chance to succeed. When they finally find the answer, they will feel very smart. This builds the grit they need for the real world. They will learn that they have the tools inside them to handle hard situations.

10. Listen to their feelings without judging

Sometimes a child just needs to be heard. If they say they are sad or scared, do not tell them not to feel that way. If you say it is nothing, they might feel like their feelings are wrong. This makes them stop trusting their own heart and mind.

Instead, say that you understand why they feel that way. You can say that it is okay to be sad sometimes. When a child feels understood, they feel safe. This safety allows them to be honest about who they are. Being honest about feelings is a big part of feeling good about yourself.

11. Set small and reachable goals

Big goals can feel like a huge mountain that is impossible to climb. If a child thinks they have to be the best at everything, they will feel like a failure. You should help them set very small goals that they can reach in one day or one week.

If they want to read a big book, tell them to just read two pages today. When they finish those two pages, celebrate that small win. This teaches them that big success is made of many small steps. Reaching these small goals gives them a regular dose of confidence and keeps them moving forward.

12. Show them love that never changes

The most important thing for self-esteem is knowing that love does not go away. Your child needs to know that you love them even when they fail or make a mess. They should never feel like your love is a prize they have to win by being perfect.

Tell them you love them every single day. Give them hugs and smiles for no reason at all. When a child feels totally safe in your love, they have a strong foundation. They can go out into the world and take risks because they know they always have a warm place to come back to at home.

Conclusion

Helping a child feel good about themselves is a journey that takes time and patience. It is not something that changes overnight with one talk or one hug. By using these twelve steps, you are building a ladder for your child to climb. Each step helps them get a little bit higher and see a little bit further. Remember to be kind to yourself too while you help your child. You are doing a great job by caring enough to look for help. With your support and these simple changes, your child will soon start to believe in themselves as much as you believe in them.

See also:

What happens when a student shuts down and how to help

Waking the apathetic student: Understanding and engaging the disengaged learner

Why your child does not care about anything (and what to do)

The class clown: Understanding, guiding, and channelling their energy

Personalised learning: Tailoring education for every student’s success

The attentive student: A guide for teachers and parents

How to help a distracted student focus: The ultimate guide for success

The delayed student: Challenges, solutions, and support strategies

Helping the quiet student thrive: Practical tips for teachers and parents

The outspoken student: Encouraging healthy communication

Students do not care? Discover the root causes and solutions

The focussed student: Characteristics, challenges, and support strategies

The lazy student: Understanding and supporting their needs

The unfocussed student: Understanding and supporting their needs

Strategies for helping the disciplined student become well-rounded learners

Understanding and guiding the undisciplined student

Helping the accelerated student thrive: Tips for parents and educators

The attentive student: A guide for teachers and parents